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"I don't think there's one word that can describe a life."
A toast, Jedediah: to Love on my own terms.
I met Farley Granger tonight. I could die happy right now. Until I have to go to work again. But anyway - I met Farley Granger tonight! He and his partner Robert Calhoun signed my copy of Farley's Book "Include Me Out" and also a movie still. I shook his hand, I told him that I had his picture up in my locker in middle school and high school and grinned like a big dork. And giggled... a lot. I don't care if he's 82 now.

OMG. I met Farley Granger. I am on a cloud right now. What a perfect way to end the day.

Farley. Granger.

And for any plebes reading this who don't know who Farley Granger is, take a stroll through IMDB and realize that he was in two of Hitchcock's greatest films.

Seriously. Farley Granger. I can't believe it. I never thought I would have the opportunity. What a wonderful, engaging man. I could die.

Oh, and as fate would have it, I come home and am looking at the DVR/program guide and see that a Farley movie starts in less than an hour on TCM. Kismet.

Farley.

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I feel: giddy giddy

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I got a 170.5 score

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I saw Volver, Pan's Labyrinth and Notes on a Scandal this weekend. Three very different films, but three very strong films that I really liked.

Possibly more later - have to get some work done now.

Tags:
I'm at: Work
I feel: tired tired
I'm listening to : Peter Murphy - Cuts You Up

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As I'm driving to work and enduring the screechy Vanessa Carlton on the radio because WKTI promised me that they would bring the nominations live to me... ME! directly, I had a brief, fleeting thought that maybe I get too excited over this stuff.

But then they interrupted the howler monkey and the barely understandable Ms. Hayek and some other guy told me what I've been waiting to hear for months now.

The good news is that there were a couple of surprises, and some of the films are available on Netflix. The bad news is Thank You For Smoking was shut out and there are a ton of films I/we haven't seen. So here are the lists.

Need to see (theatrical>

Blood Diamond (ugh)
Venus
The Pursuit of Happyness
The Last King of Scotland
Little Children
Dreamgirls
Volver
Notes on a Scandal
Babel
The Good Shepherd
Pan's Labyrinth
Children of Men
The Queen (Chris)
Letters From Iwo Jima

Need to see (Netflix)

Half Nelson
The Devil Wears Prada (Chris)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Marie Antoinette
United 93
Jesus Camp
An Inconvenient Truth
Poseidon
The Black Dahlia

Yeah, that's a lotta movies. And there are a couple that I wouldn't mind seeing that are up for a nomination like costume design, if I get the chance. I would prefer not to see Click though. Or ANY of the animated films. I guess we'll see.

Some of these films came for a week and went. Hopefully they will come back so we're not driving all over to find a damn movie.

Thoughts, Chris? Hehehehehe...oy

Tags:
I'm at: Work
I feel: bouncy bouncy
I'm listening to : It's too loud around here to hear a DAMN THING!

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Had a great weekend with Chris, by the way. Friday night we went to Potawatomi (something I've really enjoyed doing with him for some reason - I just have a lot of fun sitting there and doing something as mundane as bingo, but it's nice to chit-chat, etc.) and then Saturday night we went for an early dinner at Calderone Club then to Alterra on the Lake for a night of Backgammon and Othello. I really enjoyed it all, big time.

Tags:
I'm at: Work
I feel: happy happy
I'm listening to : Public Enemy

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I'm having really mixed feelings about The Times cinema being sold. Outwardly, it doesn't look like there are going to be a lot of programming changes, but I really don't like the fact that this guy is going to trendy up the place. If it takes alcohol sales and couches for someone to come to a theater then there's a problem. Especially since there is a theater that hosts both of those features less than a mile away.

Anyway, I'm glad that Eric is still going to be there. I hope the other workers will be too. The new guy was there yesterday when Jay, Chris and I went to see It Happened One Night. He seemed nice enough.

The movie was a really pleasant surprise for me. I had seen it about two or three years ago and found it really charming, but wasn't sure what the guys would think about it. First, there was a Batman serial short that ended up being completely great and hilarious; Jay and I were laughing our asses off. Chris didn't find it funny so much as totally stupid, but eh, that's his taste I guess. Though I took issue with him questioning how I could be laughing so hard. If Jay laughed louder he would have heard him laughing just as hard (though I'm sure he and I egged each other on a bit). Then there was a really surreal cartoon that is beyond description, and finally, the movie. I found it just as pleasant and enjoyable the second time around, and was so happy to hear Jay and Chris raving about the film afterward. Chris said "Fantastic Movie" and Jay said that it may even get onto his best of the year list.

I am definitely looking forward to experiencing the classics again at the Times. This weekend, though we've seen it in the last three months, is North By Northwest, but I'm not sure that I've seen it on the big screen (I'm thinking I may have seen it at The Times though) but more importantly, Episode 2 of Batman!! Hee hee. There's also a film called Deliver Us From Evil that is on the short list for a Best Documentary Oscar nomination I really want to see. I think that's in a couple of weeks.

Speaking of Oscars, January 23rd is the big day for the nominations. I'm thinking that Chris and I need to start coming up with movies that we think might be nominated and see them beforehand because that's only going to leave a month to see everything else after the nominations.

As far as what will most certainly be nominated that we have yet to see (like, everything) here's what I've come up with. Any other suggestions are welcome.

Babel
Little Children
The Queen (Chris hasn't seen, I have)
The Last King of Scotland
Notes on a Scandal
Volver
Sherrybaby
Dreamgirls
The Pursuit of Happyness
Pan's Labyrinth
Letters from Iwo Jima

Must.... go... see... movies. Chris...?

Tags: ,
I'm at: Work
I feel: anxious anxious
I'm listening to : Weezer

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Ebert's "Great Movies" List. Unfortunately I don't know when it was created, other than 2006. Ones I've seen are in bold, italics are our Film Club movies.

Ebert's Great Movies ListCollapse )

How many have YOU seen?

Tags:
I'm at: Work
I feel: okay okay
I'm listening to : Beverly Hills, Weezer

1 Person Gives a Rat's Ass or Spill It
Woohoo! I got the e-mail last night that I am on the press list for the MIFF. Yay! I'm hella excited. So now it's a month away.

Other than that things have been pretty okay. Work has been busy but I might be able to get Friday off since we're getting out at Noon for Rosh anyway. If not, no biggie; it would just be nice. Chris has been watching Lost and got through the first season. He's a little behind but I think he's doing pretty well, plus he's got the next two weekends to get caught up since Jay isn't going to be around to do "Film Club". I do want to get to the movies I've been wanting to watch on the DVR though, so he may have to take a Lost break and watch Bamboozled and something else! :-)

Speaking of Film Club I went through and updated our lists - I have 6 films left to see on the IMDB Top 100 and 48 to see on the IMDB 101-250 list, so I'm getting there. I'm hoping to get through those 6 sooner rather than later. At least I'm seeing progress. And Jay has already made his pick for the next meeting and it's a film I haven't seen yet (Easy Rider) so that will be cool.

Things at home are improving. I made dinner last night and did the dishes from the day before, but Chris did the dinner dishes so that was a nice thing. I'm rather enjoying doing the eating in thing constantly now - my budget is enjoying it too. I mean, it sucks to cook all the time, but I've been doing it in a way where, like last night, it sucked because I was cooking for 45 minutes, but now tonight I can either heat up leftovers or feel okay about telling him to make Hot Pockets or hot dogs or something...lol. Nahh, I'll give him some of the leftovers from last night. They actually weren't as bad as I thought. But yeah, it's kind of nice to not be spending so much dough eating out.

Oh, and after two weeks, I finally finished I Am Charlotte Simmons What a great book; I had waited three years to read it and it was well worth the wait. 740 pages of sheer Tom Wolfe bliss. So now I have to figure out what to read between now and when my Mom's family book club pick (Life of Pi comes. Something not very long. Maybe I'll try The Year of Magical Thinking since that's another book I've been dying to read and it's only about 300 pages. I'm looking forward to Pi though - my co-worker Michelle said that it's the greatest book and she's jealous I get to read it for the first time. So that's always a good sign. Or maybe I'll just do something else besides read - I've read about 8 books in the last two months which is not quite where I was a few years ago, but definitely more than I have been reading. I should be getting the book in the mail via half.com (greatest.website.ever.) in the next week or so.

By the way, if you didn't catch Monday's Daily Show, it was brilliant from start to finish. Normally there's a time (usually during the interview) when there's a snooze moment but from the beginning it was just fan-fucking-tastic.

'Tis all for meow.

I'm at: Work
I'm listening to : The Roots: Break You Off

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Well, the way my morning has started has not inspired a lot of hope for a good day. First I woke up with a terrible charley horse in my left calf that made me want to scream but I didn't want to disturb Chris' slumber so I just sucked it in. Then I finally decided to get up and try and walk on my leg, which was tender, but okay to walk on, so I went out and had a cigarette. Coming back in, I bumped into the grease trap that Dave keeps precariously perched on the edge of a tiny counter, causing the grease trap to fly onto the floor and spill what I would imagine was about three weeks worth of grease all over the place, (estimated because I'm not sure anyone has cleaned that trap but me though I've never used a George Foreman Grill in my life...). So I had to spend the next ten minutes trying to clean that disgusting mess up, trying to keep the kitties away from it, all the while seeing fucking red. Then, instead of just sinking down on the couch for a few minutes to watch last night's Jeopardy! on the DVR before having to concern myself with anything about the day's plans, I had to go shower because the grease had splashed all over my legs too. So fucking gross. To top it off, I noticed that my car didn't get moved from the street into the driveway - rule is that the last person who comes in has to move the car into the driveway because Tosa cops are dicks. I'd better not have another ticket on my car when I go out there.

So yeah, I've been up for forty five minutes and that's been my morning. Pretty fitting, if I do say so myself. All I can say is that I'd better have a good fucking weekend from here on out because between this morning and everything else that has been going on around here it's not going to take much for me to lose it.

I feel: angry angry

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Here's the deal, and I was just going to sit and quietly read my book while I sit up here at the infernal reception desk for my hour, but something I've been stewing about for the last 24 hours has been repeatedly coming up now.

First, I find out that a co-worker of mine took offense to something I did that didn't even occur the way she thought it did. While sitting out here at the desk the other day, Joanie and I were sympathizing with her while she was bitching about her job, etc. (the bitching was justified) and then Joanie slipped in that she sent someone to a wrong room for a meeting. I basically looked at her like, "Dumbass" and we started laughing. Apparently Lynn thought that we were laughing at HER and she got even more angry. I of course, had no idea. I find this out two days later (yesterday) and am compelled to apologize to her, even though I did absolutely nothing wrong and she was the one who misunderstood.

Then last night, I was doing the same routine I have been trying to get into so that we can save some dough, maybe have a little "togetherness", do something nice, and that was coming home after driving Chris and I home from work, starting dinner, doing the dishes that had built up since the previous evening's dinner, etc. I also made his lunch for today, blah blah blah. So we sit down to eat, and since he was going downstairs to do some work and some laundry and Dave was watching television, I decided to take the opportunity to spend some quiet time by myself and go read for a few hours at Starbucks. Chris basically said, "I'll do the dishes after this load of wash is done" and I was pleasantly surprised and thanked him.

So I go to Starbucks, read for three hours, have a wonderful time and when I come home, there the dishes are, still in the sink. So all I did was put my bag down, put away the dishes I had washed while making dinner and did the dinner dishes - it all took maybe three minutes. I grabbed my comfy clothes and went into the bathroom, intent on relaxing by myself for the last hour or so of the evening, and burning the last two DVDs I needed to burn. When I came out of the bathroom, Chris was like, "Did you do the dishes?" with this weird look on his face, and I thought, "Obviously... who else would have done them?" So that's basically what I said, "Who else would have done them?" And he just blew UP. I'm not going to get into the conversation, but basically, something that I was just doing for the hell of it and even to be nice turned into this big accusatory thing because he assumed that I was pissed off about it and was going to act the martyr.

Now, I have been disappointed by some things that he's done lately, and while they are little things they do add up, but all I was trying to do was get them done and then go relax. But he was making me out to be some kind of a collosal freak because I wanted to have things all settled and put away before I relaxed. (I failed to mention that apparently both of my moms and my dad must be freaks too since that's how I was raised; dishes were done after dinner and then you can do whatever you want - sorry that I don't like the kitchend to be a fucking cluttered shithole like HIS mother's or that he didn't have to do dishes, like, ever, growing up) So now he was A) Projecting his paranoia on me and being accusatory B) Making it seem like I was abnormal for just wanting them to be done and C) That I was ridiculously rigid because (I repeat - even though I wasn't bothered or was going to say something) I actually believed him when he said that he was going to do them when he said he was going to do them (most importantly, before I got home).

So of course, when I get attacked I go on the defensive and I just came out of the conversation wanting to go to my nearest friend or relative's house. And I slept badly all night because I was thinking about it. And I've been in a bad mood all day thinking about it. Because once again, I'm expected to just get over it. But you know what? Maybe I can't get over it anymore. Things were going well for a few days there, and I felt really good and to some extent was "taking care" of Chris just a little. By straightening things up, planning meals and cooking, making lunch, driving him to and from work. I didn't think of it as "Oh poor me. Look at what I do for him." We even went out for dinner on my parents' dime on Wednesday night. And though I was on the verge of leaving him just hours before, this morning I made sure he was awake before I left for work. But I don't get a flower, or any extra gesture in return. I get attacked because he is obviously insecure about something. But of course, I'm forced to just get over it - apparently he has, I had the "Morning hon!" IM on Yahoo this morning as if nothing has happened. And clearly he hasn't learned this is the wrong approach with me. What's the right approach? I have no fucking clue. But I'm sick of having to bend and just deal with things and get over my anger only to be let down again soon after.

And then the third instance where I was put on the defensive just occurred right before I started this blog, where one of the asshole auditors came to the front door of our suite, which is locked. He's been here all week, he knows that you push the buzzer and we let you in, there's no audible sound, or not - he just gave the camera a look and I pushed the button to unlock the door. Well, he just stood there holding the door, not pulling it open so I finally jumped on the intercom and said, "It's open, just pull the door open" so he comes in and I say, "I saw you there, you just had to pull the door" and he looks at me condescendingly and says, "That's okay" like I had just apologized to him.

So is it me? Am I unknowingly giving off vibes that read "Misunderstand me - attack me for doing something nice - make me feel like a piece of lint and as if I apologized when I didn't?"

I fucking give up. I am miserable right now and I don't know what is going to change or what can be done about it. I'm really sick of the fucking ups and downs though; it's already taking it's toll on my body. Last night within five minutes of cutting off the "discussion" my stomach was killing me and today I just feel like I could drop over. I just don't know what to do anymore about certain things and how to handle new stressors from everywhere else.

Oh good, the dick just walked in again. I felt my blood pressure just spike.

I'm at: Work
I feel: rejected rejected

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